Actually, while talking to Chuck before the event, he inquired about the people he was signing to. I explained Paige couldn't make it because she was home looking after JJ. He said, "You want to do something fun and evil?"
"Yeah."
He grabbed an envelope from behind him and handed it to me. He told me to send her information to him in the addressed envelope, and in a couple months, he would send her a package. He implored me not to tell her, to let it be a surprise.
CONTENTS: Hand-beaded and personalized necklace, trick deck of cards, cigarette ink pen, SE Asian influenced temporary tattoos, joke pack of gum, 2 bouncy balls, bacon and eggs bandage assortment, laser pointer, two-headed nickel, soothing bells, chocolate sampler, plastic severed finger, jacknife comb, tobasco sauce, a seed assortment of forget-me-nots herbs and carrots, 2 personalized cds of stories he recorded in audio, and a moist towelette guaranteed to wash away your sins.
Above is the letter he wrote to her. I hope you can read it. The last lines are priceless: "Please never hesitate to surprise someone. Celebrate Christmas anytime as often as you want. Clean up this mess. I'll Shut Up Now, Chuck Palahniuk
CLEAN UP THIS MESS
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